Listen to the voice
Most everyone likes feel-good stories, but life is not a Disney movie. This is a different type of story, but it makes sense that it follows the story about my student donating a portion of his part-time job savings to help a child he would never meet. The student in that earlier story, “When you’re smiling,’” was Asian, and about half of the students in the class that donated money as a group for a cleft palate operation to benefit a child they would never meet were Asian as well.
When we hear angry voices in public or private that are disagreeable or hateful, we can turn to the voice inside us for guidance. You can’t look away when you’re uncomfortable; you may just have to make someone else uncomfortable when that inner voice speaks to you.
I was visiting a friend who tended bar at a local watering hole and enjoying a freshly drawn IPA. The guy sitting next to me was silently getting pretty drunk. All of a sudden, he lifts his head up and he starts an anti-Asian rant… just vile… expletives and epithets. He wasn’t speaking to me or any particular person… he was just insulting anyone and everyone with Chinese heritage. I looked at my buddy behind the bar. He rolled his eyes then gave me a “what are ya gonna do?” type of look. Then, the guy stopped… for a couple of minutes.
He started up again. This time my buddy walked over toward the end of the bar hoping the guy would stop and things would settle down. Just like the first rant, the guy suddenly stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief. I guess the smart thing to do was simply ignore him and maybe he’ll be quiet.
No such luck… the guy started a third time… same routine but louder. My buddy was in an awkward position. I know for a fact he was terribly offended by the drunk’s language. However, if he intervened, would things escalate? Would the drunk focus his anger on my buddy? Would things turn physical? The drunk was a bully, and something had to be done.
I felt really uncomfortable inside. I thought about the hundreds of Asian students I had taught over the years. They looked up to me as a role model. They looked up to me and I was doing nothing. That was wrong and it made me feel sick.
Something welled up inside me. The voice inside me said… this is not right and you cannot pretend it is not happening. I turned to the other patron and said, in a loud and vigorous manner, “Hey! Who do you think you are? No one wants to hear your racist talk! Have you ever been to China? Well, I have and I can tell you that they are a great people. You’re gonna have to take your speech somewhere else… now!” The words rolled down like water.
I didn’t know what would happen next. He put his head down and said nothing. I thought… great… this guy might walk out to his car and get a shotgun so he could start blasting people away. Instead… after a few minutes, he looked over at me and said… You’re right. He got up and silently left the bar.
A couple of days later, I decided to pay another visit to my buddy. I was intercepted at the door by another employee who appeared to be Asian. He looked at me and said… You’re the guy! “What guy?” I asked. The young man said the bartender told him what had happened between me and the racist earlier in the week. I said in a low voice, “Yeah… that was me.” He smiled and said… Thank you for doing that then he turned to go back to work.
Sometimes, you have to take a stand even when it may make someone else feel uncomfortable, but it will be easier to do if you listen to the voice inside.
Copyright © 2023 by Ray Fowler
